I’ve been learning a lot about NLP recently, and what I’ve found really cool and life changing about it, which I’ve tested and it’s proven, is that our states, beliefs and behaviours can be shifted instantly!
Our destiny can be re-pathed tomorrow!
And although some of our habits can frustrate us, they don’t define us.
Once we’ve identified the toxic thoughts, and therefore actions, festering away at our goals, we can choose to switch them for more positive, and purposeful ones.
Just like that
we can be who we want!
Personally I feel blessed to have stumbled across NLP, as for a long time I’ve found the brain, and the power of our unconscious, fascinating.
- My nana’s Dementia, and the unspeakable things I’ve been present to witness her do.
- Experiencing a psychosis episode, myself.
- Partaking in lots of recreational drugs and experiencing my
unconscious feel, and act, so uncharacterized because of them.
- Experiencing my own strength, ability and responsibility it is to take control of my life. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to make poor choices. But in these defining moments I’ve made better choices then what I could’ve. Because of this I am the person I am today!
I recognised quickly that the pain of taking drugs wasn’t worth the moments of it being so great.
I blacked out more times than I can remember nights out.
Too much pain attached to the pleasure.
I got trapped inside a noss balloon on Valentines one year.
My unconscious mind of insecurities and anxieties ran round on a loop.
A face I feared, smiling in the corner. A loud cackle. Patronising, pointing fingers; smiles and cackles, over and over again.
Until I eventually bite my way out of it.
Watching my nan, on a loop, screaming help; crying she wants to go home, or she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her only makes me resonate to her deeply, because of this experience.
The brain is nuts.
But we have do have control over it, believe me!
The programming in NLP.
I’m writing today, about the ‘P’, part of NLP.
The ‘Programming,’ that happens in the unconscious mind, creating our behaviours and habits.
We’re about to head into a lockdown, during a season which triggers certain lazy behaviours, I’m ready to banish.
30 days during lockdown is plenty of time to make this happen!
Primarily NLP is all about how our individual experiences in the world, are made up of how our senses filter through our unconscious- which then make up how we speak to ourselves, what we believe about ourselves, and the world. And how we can reprogram our behaviours to be of ones, suitable to the goals we’re trying to achieve.
Throughout our life we will generalise, delete, or distort any information our unconscious receives. And luckily, because it stores all this information, more than 40% of the actions we perform are unconscious habits…
- brushing your teeth
- Driving a car
Although this saves time for the brain, it can also be very problematic for the person when a situation they experience wasn’t very good.
I.e. If your first experience of a dog was being bitten by one, then the next time you see one, you’ll be overly cautious around it.
In comparison to a kid who’s only had good experiences with dogs, and will therefore be more confident and loving to it.
Our brains focus is to primarily program us to keep safe, and far away, from the big bad lion!
Not all of the habits we’ve developed are beneficial to us, and impact our lives positively.
Some of the habits we perform, even though harmful, create neurological cravings.
A temporary boost of euphoria that makes us feel better, and therefore tricks our brains into thinking that we need it.
So, when we’re looking to change a habit- we need to be recognising three main things.
This could be a time of day, a look someone gives, a shift in season, an emotional state, or that ‘friday feeling’…
For me it’s waking up to the rain, and chilly evenings with no plans.
Anything that then leads onto the…
The action/ routine that this trigger makes you do.
It could be waking up to rain outside that puts you into the routine of lying in bed for as long as possible.
The trigger of having a coffee could permit your routine to have a cig.
The routine by trigger permits is lie-ins, and evenings purging on netflix and weed.
The reward is the pleasure you get out of this routine. It’s the chemical that’s released inside of your brain, and latches onto it like an addict that wants more.
The reward is the reason you give for doing something. Like having a joint in the evenings. Or a glass of wine after work; after quitting your job, splitting up with your boyfriend, or every friday night just because you’ve been paid and it’s the weekend.
It’s the reason you give, and the feeling you get that permits it to become a pattern inside your unconscious.
How do I change the habit?
1. Recognise the trigger creating your bad habit!
My trigger is the weather!
2. Recognise the reward your bad habit is giving you
My reward I get is comfort- and something to do to ‘pass the time.’
3. Decide what positive habit you would like to replace the bad habit one with
My positive habit would be something such as reading, writing, or anything on my selfcare list.
And be persistent, make a conscious effort to implement your new habit when you notice a trigger occuring!
When you decided you’re better than you’re behaviours you’re deciding to do anything you possibly can to change them.
So have passion. Want, to want change them!